Ahh, it’s just like the holidays around the social networking world these days. Excitement about the “next new thing” (Ragan Communications’ MyRagan.com), anticipation about the “next, next new thing” (Melcrum’s Communicators’ Network), and a spat that leaves everyone hurt, disappointed and wondering where the love went.

I’ve read posts from the two people at the center of this spat, and really don’t care to spend much more time on the matter–unless one of them starts bitch-slapping the other; then, get me a front-row seat! In keeping with the holiday theme of this post, I’ll suggest that they meet under the mistletoe, kiss, and make up.

In the meantime, the more important lesson to be learned from this spat and the launch of these potentially ground-breaking sites (at least for the communications profession) is being missed. That lesson is: Use emotional energy wisely; it is not unlimited, and often is not renewable. I was reminded of that recently when I heard a radio discussion involving “Christmas cards in May.”

Who bothers with Christmas cards this many months after the holiday? Surprisingly, some people do, and the reason why might be useful for the people who run MyRagan and The Communicators’ Network. Actually, a radio show host and her recent guest were talking about the bother of unopened Christmas cards still sitting on countertops in their homes. The radio show host made a very astute observation about why she hadn’t dealt with those unopened cards in her home.

She said, “I realized that I didn’t want to open those cards because I wasn’t ready to spend the emotional energy” that would be drained when the radio show host would read those cards, think about those people, and have to deal with issues and memories that those cards would uncover. It was a necessary part of her coping mechanism to limit the expenditure of emotional energy.

That is happening to everyone who is engaged in MyRagan and other social networking sites. The excitement about the possibilities and benefits of opening the “card” leads to a rush of unexpected issues and memories that cry for attention. One personal recollection: I remember having to stand up in my second grade classroom at St. Timothy Elementary School in Chicago, because I had just been introduced as one of the “new students.” I remember nervously looking around at the faces of these strangers, trying to find someone who was smiling in a friendly way. It took time, but I made friends and eventually felt comfortable in that “community.”

I’ve learned in the years following my experience in second grade that it is easy to make acquaintences, but friends are much fewer–and much more precious. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago when I joined MyRagan. I immediately had four or five members of the Ragan staff send me requests to be their “friend.” That was followed by several additional requests from other MyRagan members to be friends as well. I struggled over each request for “MyRagan friendship”…was it a good fit? Would I have the energy to engage each of these individuals in meaningful dialogue and friendly discourse?

Then I joined a couple of groups and checked out the forums. My emotional energy meter dropped as quickly as the ball in Times Square on New Year’s Eve (another holiday reference). Long lists of emails in the Message Center, asking for help, support, guidance. I soon became numb, seeing strings of identical message titles, including nine items identically titled, “Re: Advice on convincing execs to manage internal comms,” three items identically titled,”Re: Anyone notice communications is misspell…” and a seemingly never-ending string of items identically titled, “Re: Heard you Killed Em!” (from the Uncle Fester and His Peeps Group).

This is what is happening in some social networking sites: People are overwhelming the message boards with emails and gathering as many “friends” as possible, while bypassing the step of determining whether what they have to offer, or say, or ask, is germane and of interest to the person(s) who receive their invites, emails, or comments. Then you add spats like I’ve mentioned earlier, and people really question whether time spent reading and thinking and worrying about these things is worth it, emotionally.

Draining the emotional energy of members unnecessarily may lead to members deciding to avoid the networking site all together, or to limit contacts with it–just like the person who is facing those unopened Christmas cards. I mean, if the bitch-slapping doesn’t happen, don’t you just want to say, “Bah, humbug”?
tom+keefe MyRagan Melcrum social+networking emotional+energy

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 at 11:51 pm and is filed under General, IABC, Uncategorized, blogging, communications. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.