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Networking during the holidays Tip #3: Get past it!

This is a construction barrier, used to deter people from moving into a construction area. Its intent is to increase safety at the work site. We’re not meant to get over it, or around it.

            Construction Barrier=Good (For Safety)


This is a high hurdle, similar in shape to the construction banner. Its intent is to increase difficulty during a cross-country meet. We’re meant to get over it, but not around it.

          High Hurdle=Good (For Performance)

This is a communicator who has become frozen at a networking event, unsure of what to do. My final tip for networking during the holidays is to get over whatever fears, doubts, and/or anxieties are keeping you from getting started. I’m going to share some ideas for getting around those fears, doubts and anxieties.

          Networking Barriers=Bad (For Career)


These barriers are limiting your opportunities to enhance your professional contacts and to increase your opportunities to advance your career. How do you overcome your personal barriers?

1. Recognize your barriers.
You can start with this good article on WikiHow, “How to Overcome Shyness.” It provides advice and tips on how to recognize and overcome shyness in social situations.

2. Make a decision to proactively work on your networking skills.
We often need the accountability and “realness” of concrete goals before we take action to change for the better. That’s true in the resolutions we make at this time of year, the decisions we make in our personal lives, and the planning we undertake to advance our careers. You won’t move forward unless you make a conscious decision to do so. So do it right now!

3. Put yourself in networking situations, and then network, network, network, baby!
Check out local organizations to find networking events. Some events are open to anyone, others are member-only. For example, IABC/Chicago recently held a great networking event that included a presentation on effective networking.

Here are a couple of other resources to help you improve your networking skills:

Barbara Gibson’s Power Networking Tips Former IABC Chair Barbara Gibson is a social media and networking champion, and this tip-sheet offers some practical ideas.

How to Network Effectively This post on eHow contains useful tips for you, as well.

The increasing use of social media is allowing us to make connections in new and wonderful ways. Just remember that networking–in whatever ways you do it–can improve your personal and professional lives. Don’t let the holidays end without making a commitment to putting yourself out there–and get ready to leap over (or move around) those barriers that have stopped you before.





















Tip #2: Remember your place, and circulate past it.

The above photograph was taken in 1998 or 1999. It’s a photo of executive administrative assistants from Fort James Corporation enjoying a holiday meal at the Forge Club in Vernon Hills, Ill. That’s me on the left–the only male in the group.

At that time, that’s what I was: An administrative assistant at Fort James Corporation, a global consumer products company. I’m telling you this so that you understand that my Tip #2 is based on my experiences on both sides of the management divide. It’s directed primarily at managers, but definitely does have application for “front-line” employees.

Just a few years prior to when this photo was taken, I supervised a group of administrative assistants within the Management Services Department of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. My later role just before joining Fort James was manager of a small team that provided document production and other communication services to consultants and staff at a Chicago-based consulting firm for the healthcare industry.

I thought I understood how to navigate between the worlds of administrative assistants and front-line employers on one side and “upper management” on the other. I’ve held positions that provided me access to all levels of the organizations for which I worked, and I thought I knew how to “act” with everyone in the organizations.

But somewhere along the line, I forgot what it’s like to be on the bottom of the corporate food chain…until I accepted the executive administrative position at Fort James.

That move occurred a short time after I decided to quit my manager job at the Chicago-area consulting company. I had been working 10 to 12-hour days, seven days a week for several weeks, and for many reasons, had had enough. Although (maybe surprisingly) my wife supported my decision to quit–she knew how the job was affecting me–it was scary to leave a job without having the next one lined up.

To jump-start my job search (I wasn’t a member of IABC at that time, so I couldn’t use its job board), I went to Manpower to apply for communication positions. My thinking was that accepting a temporary position within a company would give the employer a chance to see my value, and me a chance to avoid another bad employment situation.

The phone was ringing when I returned from the meeting with a Manpower recruiter. She was excited as she told me that I would be perfect for a position with a Fortune 250 company that was relocating its headquarters to the Chicago area. The starting salary, if they brought me on full-time, would be exactly the same as the salary I had made at the Federal Reserve. A step backward from the salary I had earned at the consulting firm, but no doubt a better deal on a work/life balance basis, I thought. The situation sounded great…until she told me the position: Executive Administrative Assistant to the Senior Vice President/Controller.

“Administrative assistant,” I remember almost stammering into the phone. “B-but I’ve MANAGED admins in my past jobs.” I ended the call with a promise to consider the offer. The conversation that followed with my wife was very difficult and humbling. This job would provide a decent salary at a company that was doing well. I could prove myself in full view of the company’s top executives, and work toward moving into a more suitable communication role after paying some dues.

On the other hand, it could be a career-ender, with me painted into a professional corner that would keep me from getting back onto the successful career path I had been traveling along.

I’ll talk more about what happened at another time. To bring this back to the original point of this post, I interacted with people from all levels of Fort James. At times, I could clearly see that someone was looking at me as a lowly admin, and sometimes would seem perturbed when I would assert myself based on my overall experience and skills.

Even in my current position, I’ve worked with a couple of management-level people who clearly wanted to limit their interactions with me and others “below them” according to our internal band levels. This kind of “superior attitude” isn’t directed solely at administrative assistants!

The point I’m making is that, during this holiday season and in the year to come, when you have an opportunity to gather socially with coworkers, don’t blow it off if they are either above or below your pay grade. It’s valuable and important for connections to be made throughout the organization, and people on the “front line” do like to rub elbows on occasion with their managers and other leaders.

Circulate within your organization, and circulate “good will” to all employees.

Every year at this time, I hear from people who, because of the holidays, feel the urge to connect with me and others in their lives. Sometimes we haven't communicated in months; sometimes it's been years.

I hope that you feel that urge to connect with other communication professionals, and that you register for tomorrow's Holiday Networking Reception at Maggiano’s in Chicago. (For the sake of transparency, I have to admit that I have a conflict and won't be there.)

Networking is one of the benefits of your IABC membership, and this session will provide some practical advice from Matt West, Vice President, Insidedge, as well as the opportunity to dust off your networking skills. If you are a newer IABC member, or a more "seasoned" member who hasn't been active in a while, this is a great event to attend. Register here.

Nearly a decade ago, I learned the importance of maintaining a professional network. I was downsized when the declining economy dried up revenue and forced employers to cut staff. Sound familiar? The same thing happened only a couple of years ago, and this nation still has a large unemployed pool of workers.

Back in 2001, I wasn't active in IABC or any other professional organization. I figured that with my experience and skillset, I could find a good job fairly easily, all on my own. Sound familiar? I hope not!

I quickly formed a job search and support group with other unemployed members of my local church. Three weeks after being let go, I was talking with that group in a coffee shop when one of the other members interrupted me, exclaiming, "Someone just flew a plane into the World Trade Tower." I remember my response, "That is sad, but we can't do anything for that pilot now…we have to get jobs!"

It was Sept. 11, 2001.

The nation shut down in large part that day, and for the next several months was not in a hiring pattern. I went through the next 2 1/2 years either collecting unemployment or working temporary jobs for about $15 per hour. I tried to start a one-person communication company, but struggled mightily.

In 2004, a form of networking gave me some hope. My pastor asked me to speak during worship one Sunday about how congregation members had supported my family financially, emotionally and spiritually during our struggles. After one of the services, a man walked up to me, handed me his card, and said that he was looking for a communication professional. I got an interview, and eventually, the position.

One of the FIRST things I did with my first paycheck was to rejoin IABC. I later went through the IABC Accreditation program to become a certified Accredited Business Communicator (ABC). Since then, I've been strengthening my professional network at every available opportunity. I've spoken at communication conferences and meetings to build my professional resume and credibility.

I hope that you see the value of networking, and will take action today to strengthen your professional network.

(Cross-posted on the IABC/Chicago website)

It’s time for me to brush up on networking tips. Not the ones that Matt West, Vice President, Insidedge, will share on Dec. 15 at an IABC/Chicago Networking event.

I need to remember the very practical tips that are burned into my brain because of the painful experiences of life. For example, Tip #1:

Never get drunk at a company function.

Tonight my wife and I are attending the VW Credit, Inc. Chicago Service Center holiday party. It’ll be a nice few hours spent with people I work with, a good meal and the chance to win some nice door prizes.

I’ll be drinking pop or nonalcoholic beer, as I follow my personal Tip #1. I learned that lesson back in 1983, as an editorial assistant at Standard Rate and Data Service (SRDS).

Back in those days, before organizations like MADD educated us on the legal, emotional and life-threatening repercussions of drunk driving, companies actually PAID for the drinks at holiday parties. We employees would only decide whether to throw a dollar or two into the bartender’s tip jar.

But I had heard that if you gave the bartender a big tip right away, you would benefit from attentive service and strong drinks. So when I ordered my first gin martini of the evening, I slapped down a $5 bill, and told the bartender to keep it.

The first martini led to several more, and as my alcohol level rose, so did my tips. I remember a friend trying to stop me from stuffing a $20 bill into the jar of my “best new friend,” the bartender.

I can’t say that I remember much more of the evening. But here is a photo of me twirling around the dance floor with one of the middle-level SRDS managers.

Not coincidentally, my career at SRDS began to wane after that party. So like I said, tonight I’ll be sober and safe in my job. Some free advice for you communicators just entering the field.

I recently shared with you that I don’t find much credibility in the generalizations being spread about distinct and universal differences in employees based on their “generation.” I just don’t see an automatic one-to-one relationship between the year someone was born and the person’s approach to the working world.

My 15-1/2 year old son, Kevin, has been regularly confirming for me that at least one of those stereotypes isn’t true: Teens are not becoming socially inept due to a huge reliance on communications tools such as social networks, texting and lots of time spent gaming online.

Kevin made real-life connection with gaming pal during a baseball game today.One nice example: Kevin (pictured here batting) made a real-life connection with a gaming friend during a baseball game today. As we drove home from his game (which his team won), Kevin described to me how it transpired.

For some time, Kev has been playing “Gears of War” online with several high school friends, and other people he has “met” online. One of the gamers he met was a sophomore at the same high school that Kevin attends. Kevin soon learned the gamer’s first name and that he was of Pakistani heritage.

During the game today, one of Kevin’s teammates mentioned that he knew a sophomore on the other team, and he stated his name. The name of the Pakastani ball player was the same as the gamer’s. Kevin wondered whether it was just a coincidence.

An inning later, Kevin was playing third base and the Pakastani ball player advanced to third. Kevin decided to ask the ball player whether he played Gears of War. When the player said that he did, Kevin asked whether his gamer tag was the one that Kevin knew. Sure enough, it was the same person.

The two of them smiled and made some small talk, and now have a connection that they otherwise wouldn’t have made if two things hadn’t occurred:

  • Kevin needed to be social during his online gaming time (which he and his friends are, in general).
  • Kevin had to be social in person, asking a stranger a question that might make Kevin feel or look foolish. Isn’t that what we do during networking sessions in the “adult” world?

My point is that the tools that some adults say are making our kids socially inept actually, in some cases, are making it easier for our kids to be social with their peers.